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饾悎 饾惌饾悶饾悮饾悳饾悺 饾悰饾悶饾惀饾惃饾惂饾悹饾悽饾惂饾悹 饾悷饾惃饾惈 饾悮 饾惀饾悽饾惎饾悽饾惂饾悹. 饾悎 饾惉饾惄饾悶饾惂饾悵 饾惁饾惃饾惉饾惌 饾悮饾悷饾惌饾悶饾惈饾惂饾惃饾惃饾惂饾惉 饾惌饾悮饾惀饾悿饾悽饾惂饾悹 饾惌饾惃 饾惁饾惒 饾惉饾悺饾悮饾悵饾惃饾惏 饾悮饾惌 饾悆饾惍饾悰饾悮饾悽 饾悳饾悮饾悷饾悶饾惉.
“Loneliness is always looking for a friend, it found me once and it has been around since then.” – As a certified happiness trainer, the song by Westlife makes more sense than ever.
饾悂饾悮饾惂饾悹饾悮饾惀饾惃饾惈饾悶: 饾煉饾煄 饾惒饾悶饾悮饾惈饾惉 饾惃饾悷 饾惈饾惃饾惃饾惌饾惉. 饾悅饾悮饾悷饾悶饾惉 饾惁饾悶饾悮饾惂饾惌 饾惄饾悶饾惃饾惄饾惀饾悶. 饾悅饾惃饾惂饾惎饾悶饾惈饾惉饾悮饾惌饾悽饾惃饾惂饾惉 饾惌饾悺饾悮饾惌 饾惉饾惄饾惈饾悮饾惏饾惀饾悶饾悵 饾悮饾悳饾惈饾惃饾惉饾惉 饾悺饾惃饾惍饾惈饾惉.
饾悆饾惍饾悰饾悮饾悽: 饾煆 饾惒饾悶饾悮饾惈 饾悽饾惂. 饾悞饾悮饾惁饾悶 饾悳饾悮饾悷饾悶 饾悺饾悮饾悰饾悽饾惌. 饾悆饾悽饾悷饾悷饾悶饾惈饾悶饾惂饾惌 饾惈饾悶饾悮饾惀饾悽饾惌饾惒. 饾悏饾惍饾惉饾惌 饾惁饾悶, 饾惁饾惒 饾悳饾惃饾悷饾悷饾悶饾悶, 饾悮饾惂饾悵 饾惌饾悺饾悶 饾惇饾惍饾悽饾悶饾惌.
I can cite Baumeister and Leary’s belongingness hypothesis. I design workshops on psychological safety and social connection. 饾悎 饾惌饾悶饾悮饾悳饾悺 饾惌饾悶饾悮饾惁饾惉 饾悺饾惃饾惏 饾惌饾惃 饾悰饾惍饾悽饾惀饾悵 饾惌饾悺饾悶 饾惎饾悶饾惈饾惒 饾惌饾悺饾悽饾惂饾悹 饾悎’饾惁 饾惁饾悽饾惉饾惉饾悽饾惂饾悹.
And most days, I’m counting hours until Ayesha comes home from work so I can talk to someone who isn’t my reflection.
Here’s what a year of loneliness taught me that 18 years in L&D didn’t:
Knowledge doesn’t exempt you from feeling. Expertise doesn’t erase longing. You can facilitate brilliant sessions on belonging and still ache for the ease of old friendships.
饾悡饾悺饾悶 饾悞饾惌饾惃饾悽饾悳 饾惄饾惈饾悮饾悳饾惌饾悽饾悳饾悶饾惉 饾悺饾悶饾惀饾惄. 饾悡饾悺饾悶 饾惄饾惃饾惉饾悽饾惌饾悽饾惎饾悶 饾惄饾惉饾惒饾悳饾悺饾惃饾惀饾惃饾悹饾惒 饾惌饾惃饾惃饾惀饾惉 饾惏饾惃饾惈饾悿. 饾悘饾惍饾惈饾惄饾惃饾惉饾悶 饾悮饾惂饾悳饾悺饾惃饾惈饾惉 饾惁饾悶. 饾悂饾惍饾惌 饾惌饾悺饾悶饾惒 饾悵饾惃饾惂’饾惌 饾惈饾悶饾惄饾惀饾悮饾悳饾悶 饾惉饾悽饾惌饾惌饾悽饾惂饾悹 饾悮饾悳饾惈饾惃饾惉饾惉 饾悷饾惈饾惃饾惁 饾惉饾惃饾惁饾悶饾惃饾惂饾悶 饾惏饾悺饾惃 饾悿饾惂饾惃饾惏饾惉 饾惒饾惃饾惍饾惈 饾悺饾悽饾惉饾惌饾惃饾惈饾惒 饾惏饾悽饾惌饾悺饾惃饾惍饾惌 饾悶饾惐饾惄饾惀饾悮饾惂饾悮饾惌饾悽饾惃饾惂.
饾悡饾悺饾悽饾惉 饾悹饾悮饾惄 – 饾悰饾悶饾惌饾惏饾悶饾悶饾惂 饾惏饾悺饾悮饾惌 饾惏饾悶 饾惌饾悶饾悮饾悳饾悺 饾悮饾惂饾悵 饾惏饾悺饾悮饾惌 饾惏饾悶 饾惀饾悽饾惎饾悶 – 饾悽饾惉饾惂’饾惌 饾悺饾惒饾惄饾惃饾悳饾惈饾悽饾惉饾惒. 饾悎饾惌’饾惉 饾悺饾惍饾惁饾悮饾惂饾悽饾惌饾惒.
My clients don’t need a trainer who transcended struggle. They need someone who can hold space for the messy middle, because that’s where most of us actually exist. The complexity. The both/and. The “I know better and I still feel this.”
饾悘饾惈饾惃饾悷饾悶饾惉饾惉饾悽饾惃饾惂饾悮饾惀 饾悶饾惐饾悳饾悶饾惀饾惀饾悶饾惂饾悳饾悶 饾悮饾惂饾悵 饾惄饾悶饾惈饾惉饾惃饾惂饾悮饾惀 饾惉饾惌饾惈饾惍饾悹饾悹饾惀饾悶 饾悮饾惈饾悶饾惂’饾惌 饾悳饾惃饾惂饾惌饾惈饾悮饾悵饾悽饾悳饾惌饾悽饾惃饾惂饾惉. 饾悡饾悺饾悶饾惒’饾惈饾悶 饾悳饾惃饾惁饾惄饾悮饾惂饾悽饾惃饾惂饾惉.
I’m not sharing this because I’ve resolved it. I’m sharing it because maybe you’re also an expert at something while being a beginner at the living part. Maybe you lead culture initiatives while navigating your own belonging challenges. Maybe you design employee wellbeing programs while figuring out your own.
The tools work. The frameworks matter. The work is important.
We’re just human while doing it.
I suspect I’m not alone in this paradox. And maybe there’s wisdom in naming it together.
